I’m sure every expectant parent has been there at some point. You spend hours, days even, pouring over baby name books, scanning the credits in movies to see if anything sticks out, eavesdropping on conversations in cafes just incase someone mentions a name, a name that happens to be The Name. The name that you fall in love with and immediately decide that THIS is the moniker you will bestow on your future child.
Off you race to tell your partner/in laws/parents/best friend/random stranger in the street and their response is less than enthusiastic… “Yeah… but what about _______ instead?”.
When I found out I was pregnant with my eldest, I already had a few names in mind. I liked Amelia and Robyn as girls names, and Cameron and Brendan as boys. My husband immediately vetoed all of them. I was particularly attached to Robyn (not that it would have mattered – little did I know then that a daughter wasn’t in my future) and the battles we had over that name were immense, there were a lot of tears, and eventually I conceded and agreed we’d think of a different name – we did, under a great deal of pressure the night before my induction and thank god that Declan wasn’t a girl because I hate the name we chose now!
I didn’t have too many problems giving up that fight, I wanted my husband to love our baby’s name as much as I did, but I’m not sure how I’d go getting negative feedback on a name that I had decided on from someone like my Mum or a close friend. A friend of mine recently found out that her third (and planned last) child will be a little girl, a sister for her two older boys, she excitedly told her mum the name that she and her husband had decided on and her mother has thrown nothing but negativity at it. This wasn’t a “we’re thinking of this name, what are your thoughts?”, it was a “we’ve decided our daughter will be called this”, things have escalated to the point where she and her mother aren’t speaking. Of course my friend is upset, to the point that she’s now doubting the choice that she was so in love with just a week ago.
As far as I’m concerned, grandparents, friends and relatives are free to put in their 2 cents worth, but out of respect to the expectant parents, they need to keep it at 2 cents, not try and stretch to a whole dollar. Their time has either gone or one day will come for their turn to name a child, and as much as I respect the opinions of my friends and family, they need to respect mine, particularly on something as special as naming a child.
And if you don’t think that they’ll like your babe’s chosen name, just don’t tell anyone until after the birth, they’ll have a hard time saying anything negative about the little newborn blob, no matter what his or her name is… unless it’s Diammond Sparckle, then even I will admit that I’d struggle not to say something.
Did you receive any negative feedback on your child’s name? Was it under lock and key until labour day? Or did you do what one of the women in my mother’s group did and tell everyone a fake Klingon inspired name just to get people off your back?
